Never though I would be happy to see BFN!

How stupid does that sound?!?!

Of all the times I have done a pregancy test and longed for the elusive BFP (big fat positive) to now actually want to see a negatives seems a bit obsurd.

However, I would just like my body to return to normal. Its been 4 weeks now since the main bit of the miscarriage and for a while there my body was holding onto the pregnancy hormone despite all the tissue having been passed. For around 10 days my HCG levels were stuck around 1200 and it was only just before New Year that they finally started to drop to 350. The following week was 81 and this week is 10. Below 5 is considered not pregnant and so im almost there and hopefully my body will start to kick itself back into its normal routine. I should now see a negative on a pregnancy test, though I cant bring myself to waste another just to prove it, he he!

We are going on a much needed holiday on friday to a lovely all inclusive 5 start resort in Mexico where all rooms have their own jacuzzi. It was our consolation for IVF not working and we even splashed out and upgraded to a swim up room on the ground floor with direct access to a 'lazy river'. Then we got pregnant and thought, wow, now we get both the baby and the fantastic holiday!!! Now we just get the holiday but at least I can enjoy the cocktails!!!!!!!

One step forward at the same time as one step back

Hmm, so the regression on Tuesday was quite interesting! It highlighted a couple if issues that need to be worked on so I shall be busy and look forward to fixing them.

As for the miscarriage side of things, I thought it was all over but then I ended up with an infection from some tissue or something that didnt get shed. I have never been so ill as I was on the evening of New Years Day with terrible, terrible cramps, fever, being sick, faint etc. The antibiotics are taking their time to work and I was still switching between shivering and being on fire yesterday. Hopefully will be strong enough next week to start exercising and trying to shed a couple of pounds before our holiday in a couple of weeks!

New year, new start, again!

Its the start of a new year and a time to put all sad and unhappy posts behind me. 

So its back to the last plan of trying Regressive Rebirth which was abandoned after I found out I was pregnant, seeing as it no longer seemed needed. Regressive Rebirth is along the lines of looking into your past lives, finding the out the issues, cutting ties with the problems and then having the opportunity to visit and write the future.

I have to admit that I was more than apprehensive when Andy suggested that he felt that was what was needed. I have always been hesitant but fascinated and intrigued about past lives; as if there is something inside which is a little scared and holding back. But I was surprised to feel a little disappointed to realise that by miraculously getting pregnant it meant I wouldnt be going through with this particular therapy. So im going to take the bull by the horns and give it a go.

I start my first session on Tuesday so it will be interesting to see what comes up!