Definitely all over

I just dont know what to do now? I cant help thinking that I will never have my own child and that perhaps donor eggs will be suggested. There is not much point trying another cycle for the following reasons:


1) I dont seem to have many follicles to start with, 8 or 9 at pre stimm scan - but my blood tests didnt indicate any issues;

2) I dont respond to the stimms very well - 3 eggs first time and 6 the second;

3) I dont have good egg quality - 1 embryo made it to a 2 day transfer first time and only 2 made it to 3 day transfer this time, none were great quality.

The only thing I can do is lose more weight.
To add insult to injury, the proceedures were so much worse this time. I was quite ill after the egg collection which I didnt even write about as I was trying to be positive. I was in a lot of pain in recovery which the consultants couldnt understand until they realised I was laying in a pool of blood.  I was already quite dizzy and then reacted to the extra pain killers and was sick. Watching them inject the IV anti nausea drugs made my husband feel ill and he had to be taken outside.
 
It is worse this time as last time I could clearly see that it needed to not work -  I had to do certain things with my life that I was missing etc and I wasnt actually in the right place then. But now I have sorted all that, come a long way in the last 10 months and still nothing.

Its just cruel. I feel empty and lost.

I think its all over

Nothing more to say.
Started spotting today and think its all over.
Im so upset :-(