Ooops, I realise it has been a fair while since I posted anything on this blog.....naughty me!
So anyway, its all change. After finally getting my AMH (measure of remaining egg reserve) checked and finding out its absolutely fine, the consultant recommended using my eggs rather than a donor if we were going to try again. We still had to get hubbys genetics tested to see if he had a chromosome translocation but I already started to come to the conclusion that enough was enough and I really didnt want to do it anymore.
If we did another round, the pressure would have been on as we would be financing it ourselves. I would have taken more time to get fitter to give it my best chance and also needed some time to psyche myself up. All that, and then doing the cycle itself, would have taken another year of our lives and most probably ended up with us in exactly the same situation as we were already in but with a whole load of stress and another year wasted.
We discussed adoption and agreed to find out more about it. As I started to feel ok about not trying again, it felt like a physical weight had been lifted off of me, the relief was immense and it really made me realise how stressful the whole thing was.
We also got hubby's genes checked and it appears there is nothing wrong there. However, it made no difference to our decision.
So, we have made enquiries with two local authorities, been to two information evenings and are just waiting to hear back from them after sending in our expression of interest forms.
Exciting stuff!!!
Friday 14 December 2012
Wednesday 1 August 2012
All over...again.
You might have guessed it from the lack of posts.
Its all over again.
Not much else to say really :-(
Its all over again.
Not much else to say really :-(
Monday 18 June 2012
Taking the plunge
As the title of the post suggests, we are just going to do it.
The consultant got back saying he wouldnt be too worried, which is slightly different to the advice given to sister in law, and that hubbys swimmers dont show any sign of issues from numbers and fertilisation reports alone. Obviously we havent had any genetic testing though.
Hubbys Dad is also a carrier of the chromosome translocation and had 6 healthy children. His parents also did not have any miscarriages so it didnt directly affect them. Though, 3 of those children have gone on to have problems conceiving but you have no way of telling whether that is a cause.
Weighing up the fact that time is also not on my side, we are just going to go ahead with it. If it really was a problem then surely the NHS wouldnt let us continue with the cycle.
So, the drugs start this evening....
Friday 15 June 2012
Ooops!
OK, im terrible for updates recently!
We had our appeal accepted and were given the ok for a new cycle. I started on the pill for a month beforehand and we now start stimms on monday.
However, we have a bit of a hiccup in that my sister in law has had some genetic testing following a few failed ivf attempts and she is a carrier of a 'balanced reciprocal translocation'. Yep, that means as much to you as its does to me!! The upshot is that carriers of this chromosome swapping are at risk of their offspring having an uneven number of chromosomes leading to abnormality or miscarriage. Her parents were tested and it appears that this was passed on by her father, who is obviously hubbys father too. We have no idea what this means for us, what the actual risk is, whether hubby is a carrier and whether is affects our cycle due to start in 4 days. The clinic are looking at it for us now.
To top it off, our clinic are no longer allowed to accept NHS patients and so if we decide to cancel this one to get hubby tested then we can no longer have our NHS cycle at the clinic we have gone to for the past few years. We will have to get a new referral and go to another one and start on their waiting lists. This could take many months in total and I am bearing in mind the advice not to wait too long as egg quality wont improve, the stress of waiting, the stress of going to a new clinic etc etc. He may not even be a carrier and if he is, his dad was and had 6 healthy children. Though three have had trouble conceiving but you dont know if that is the reason for it, there could be all sorts of reasons.
And I was trying not to get bogged down with this cycle and tryinf to forget its even happening, so much for that approach. Hopefully, we can sort it out quickly and move on.
We had our appeal accepted and were given the ok for a new cycle. I started on the pill for a month beforehand and we now start stimms on monday.
However, we have a bit of a hiccup in that my sister in law has had some genetic testing following a few failed ivf attempts and she is a carrier of a 'balanced reciprocal translocation'. Yep, that means as much to you as its does to me!! The upshot is that carriers of this chromosome swapping are at risk of their offspring having an uneven number of chromosomes leading to abnormality or miscarriage. Her parents were tested and it appears that this was passed on by her father, who is obviously hubbys father too. We have no idea what this means for us, what the actual risk is, whether hubby is a carrier and whether is affects our cycle due to start in 4 days. The clinic are looking at it for us now.
To top it off, our clinic are no longer allowed to accept NHS patients and so if we decide to cancel this one to get hubby tested then we can no longer have our NHS cycle at the clinic we have gone to for the past few years. We will have to get a new referral and go to another one and start on their waiting lists. This could take many months in total and I am bearing in mind the advice not to wait too long as egg quality wont improve, the stress of waiting, the stress of going to a new clinic etc etc. He may not even be a carrier and if he is, his dad was and had 6 healthy children. Though three have had trouble conceiving but you dont know if that is the reason for it, there could be all sorts of reasons.
And I was trying not to get bogged down with this cycle and tryinf to forget its even happening, so much for that approach. Hopefully, we can sort it out quickly and move on.
Sunday 8 April 2012
A little update
I know its has been a while so I thought that I should provide a little update.
Things have been ticking along fine here. We had a lovely, and much needed, holiday in Mexico which helped to recharge the batteries after everything that went on over the last few months.
We then found ourselves approaching the 6 month mark since the last failed IVF cycle where we can try our last funded attempt. I called the clinic to just double check all was still ok to go ahead following the miscarriage and they said that, as we conceived ourselves, the PCT class us as now being 'fertile' and therefore we would have to wait until we have been trying again for a whole 3 years before we were eligible for funding!!
I know I cant complain too much as we are lucky that the PCT in our area lets you have the recommended 3 cycles and that some only give you 1 or worse still: none. I also know its my fault for not checking after we had the miscarriage but also no-one really pointed it out. Our GP certainly didnt and even asked if we would still try again.
But given that the fertility clinic were recommending we try and waive the 6 month wait between NHS funded cycles as, due to my poor egg quality/prematurely aged ovaries, the situation would only get worse and waiting would severely reduce our chances, it seems to wait 3 years would be rather foolish.
All we can do is try to get our GP to write a letter of appeal for us. I dont hold much hope on that as our GP didnt really seem to understand the system or understand why we couldnt have our last go.
The clinic have written us a supporting letter to go with the appeal which, though I know they are trying to help, I found upsetting. They say that the cause of most early miscarriages is usually embryo chromosomal abnormality which is also most prevalent with ovarian ageing. Does this mean that even if we do get pregnant again, we are more likely to miscarry as my eggs are old before their time?
So, we wait to see what the GP will come up with. Im not that positive. More so because even if we then have to do a private cycle, im not sure if the advice would be to seriously start to consider a donor egg. I wasnt ready for that yet. Our plan was to try our last free cycle and if the response was still poor and our chances so low then to move onto using a donor egg in a years time. Im just not ready to bring that forward yet.
Things have been ticking along fine here. We had a lovely, and much needed, holiday in Mexico which helped to recharge the batteries after everything that went on over the last few months.
We then found ourselves approaching the 6 month mark since the last failed IVF cycle where we can try our last funded attempt. I called the clinic to just double check all was still ok to go ahead following the miscarriage and they said that, as we conceived ourselves, the PCT class us as now being 'fertile' and therefore we would have to wait until we have been trying again for a whole 3 years before we were eligible for funding!!
I know I cant complain too much as we are lucky that the PCT in our area lets you have the recommended 3 cycles and that some only give you 1 or worse still: none. I also know its my fault for not checking after we had the miscarriage but also no-one really pointed it out. Our GP certainly didnt and even asked if we would still try again.
But given that the fertility clinic were recommending we try and waive the 6 month wait between NHS funded cycles as, due to my poor egg quality/prematurely aged ovaries, the situation would only get worse and waiting would severely reduce our chances, it seems to wait 3 years would be rather foolish.
All we can do is try to get our GP to write a letter of appeal for us. I dont hold much hope on that as our GP didnt really seem to understand the system or understand why we couldnt have our last go.
The clinic have written us a supporting letter to go with the appeal which, though I know they are trying to help, I found upsetting. They say that the cause of most early miscarriages is usually embryo chromosomal abnormality which is also most prevalent with ovarian ageing. Does this mean that even if we do get pregnant again, we are more likely to miscarry as my eggs are old before their time?
So, we wait to see what the GP will come up with. Im not that positive. More so because even if we then have to do a private cycle, im not sure if the advice would be to seriously start to consider a donor egg. I wasnt ready for that yet. Our plan was to try our last free cycle and if the response was still poor and our chances so low then to move onto using a donor egg in a years time. Im just not ready to bring that forward yet.
Sunday 15 January 2012
Never though I would be happy to see BFN!
How stupid does that sound?!?!
Of all the times I have done a pregancy test and longed for the elusive BFP (big fat positive) to now actually want to see a negatives seems a bit obsurd.
However, I would just like my body to return to normal. Its been 4 weeks now since the main bit of the miscarriage and for a while there my body was holding onto the pregnancy hormone despite all the tissue having been passed. For around 10 days my HCG levels were stuck around 1200 and it was only just before New Year that they finally started to drop to 350. The following week was 81 and this week is 10. Below 5 is considered not pregnant and so im almost there and hopefully my body will start to kick itself back into its normal routine. I should now see a negative on a pregnancy test, though I cant bring myself to waste another just to prove it, he he!
Of all the times I have done a pregancy test and longed for the elusive BFP (big fat positive) to now actually want to see a negatives seems a bit obsurd.
However, I would just like my body to return to normal. Its been 4 weeks now since the main bit of the miscarriage and for a while there my body was holding onto the pregnancy hormone despite all the tissue having been passed. For around 10 days my HCG levels were stuck around 1200 and it was only just before New Year that they finally started to drop to 350. The following week was 81 and this week is 10. Below 5 is considered not pregnant and so im almost there and hopefully my body will start to kick itself back into its normal routine. I should now see a negative on a pregnancy test, though I cant bring myself to waste another just to prove it, he he!
We are going on a much needed holiday on friday to a lovely all inclusive 5 start resort in Mexico where all rooms have their own jacuzzi. It was our consolation for IVF not working and we even splashed out and upgraded to a swim up room on the ground floor with direct access to a 'lazy river'. Then we got pregnant and thought, wow, now we get both the baby and the fantastic holiday!!! Now we just get the holiday but at least I can enjoy the cocktails!!!!!!!
Thursday 5 January 2012
One step forward at the same time as one step back
Hmm, so the regression on Tuesday was quite interesting! It highlighted a couple if issues that need to be worked on so I shall be busy and look forward to fixing them.
As for the miscarriage side of things, I thought it was all over but then I ended up with an infection from some tissue or something that didnt get shed. I have never been so ill as I was on the evening of New Years Day with terrible, terrible cramps, fever, being sick, faint etc. The antibiotics are taking their time to work and I was still switching between shivering and being on fire yesterday. Hopefully will be strong enough next week to start exercising and trying to shed a couple of pounds before our holiday in a couple of weeks!
As for the miscarriage side of things, I thought it was all over but then I ended up with an infection from some tissue or something that didnt get shed. I have never been so ill as I was on the evening of New Years Day with terrible, terrible cramps, fever, being sick, faint etc. The antibiotics are taking their time to work and I was still switching between shivering and being on fire yesterday. Hopefully will be strong enough next week to start exercising and trying to shed a couple of pounds before our holiday in a couple of weeks!
Sunday 1 January 2012
New year, new start, again!
Its the start of a new year and a time to put all sad and unhappy posts behind me.
So its back to the last plan of trying Regressive Rebirth which was abandoned after I found out I was pregnant, seeing as it no longer seemed needed. Regressive Rebirth is along the lines of looking into your past lives, finding the out the issues, cutting ties with the problems and then having the opportunity to visit and write the future.
I have to admit that I was more than apprehensive when Andy suggested that he felt that was what was needed. I have always been hesitant but fascinated and intrigued about past lives; as if there is something inside which is a little scared and holding back. But I was surprised to feel a little disappointed to realise that by miraculously getting pregnant it meant I wouldnt be going through with this particular therapy. So im going to take the bull by the horns and give it a go.
I start my first session on Tuesday so it will be interesting to see what comes up!
So its back to the last plan of trying Regressive Rebirth which was abandoned after I found out I was pregnant, seeing as it no longer seemed needed. Regressive Rebirth is along the lines of looking into your past lives, finding the out the issues, cutting ties with the problems and then having the opportunity to visit and write the future.
I have to admit that I was more than apprehensive when Andy suggested that he felt that was what was needed. I have always been hesitant but fascinated and intrigued about past lives; as if there is something inside which is a little scared and holding back. But I was surprised to feel a little disappointed to realise that by miraculously getting pregnant it meant I wouldnt be going through with this particular therapy. So im going to take the bull by the horns and give it a go.
I start my first session on Tuesday so it will be interesting to see what comes up!
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