Well the title say it all really. I seem incapable of working properly and feel quite a failure before we have even started. All I had to do was ovulate, it should be simple. I dont even have to try and conceive this month. However the pressure has obviously got to me and now my body is refusing to work. It may seem quite a trivial thing but it took me a while to get my head around the whole IVF thing and now that I am ready and am prepared to start the goal posts kepe being put back and back. I feel pretty fed up with my body and am having to fight off that black mist of depression. I started to wonder how I will cope if the end outcome is negative? In fact I just dont want to think about that, it makes me feel sick.
It has made me realise though that I am quite a sensitive creature. I have no doubt that the stress and pressure I put myself under every month to try for a baby, even when I feel positive, is probably the one thing that is stopping it happening in the first place. Now that my only goal is to ovulate my body refuses that too.
Im afraid I just dont have any answers to all of this right now, its not making much sense. Im going to see my friend who does crystal therapy tomorrow and hopefully that will give me a boost.
3 comments:
Claire, so sorry to hear this... I know it must be super frustrating. I can't say anything to make it better, but we've just to keep staying positive, and pray that things happen for a reason/ when the timing is right. It WILL all work out!
Take care,
Stephanie
Please don't blame yourself for anything fluffy...and no you are not stressing yourself to not ovulating!!
Maybe this is one of those delayed cycles? What day are you on?
By the way, its not "us"....its the universe...so lets blame the universe together! I hope things get back on track soon.
Thanks Keya,
You are kind. Today is day 28 so its pretty late! Feeling a lot better after having some crystal work done today so we shall see what tomorrow brings!!
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