It was all too good to be true

I really dont want to be writing this, especially this close to christmas where everyone is all happy and cheery.

We obviously werent meant to have this baby and I have lost it at 6 weeks. What a Christmas present!?! This is the exact same time that last year we found out our first IVF didnt work and I vowed not to do anything like that again at this time of year. You need time to get your head around these sorts of things, not plunge yourself into visting relatives and going to christmas parties.

Our family dont even know that we did a second IVF and it failed, let alone that we miraculously fell pregnant straight after it. So how do I even start to explain that im not full of the christmas spirit because we just had a miscarriage?

 What really was the point of life giving us that little bit of hope for such a short time? I just feel empty, broken, messed around and cheated.