I try very hard to stay positve but the moment when they told us that our chances were pretty low keeps flashing back into my mind. I know that they were being kind by saying that little embie was graded average to poor when actually, on reading through their literature later, the grading they have given it is in fact in the poor category. I then feel guilty for seeming as though I have given up hope when there actually could be a little life struggling against the odds to settle into a nice new home - I almost feel as though I am betraying it!
In actual fact we are all guilty of being far too eager to assign labels to things. I guess that it is human nature to categorise objects or people or situations so that we can make assumptions about them based on their label. This fools us into thinking that we understand the object/person/situation and we therefore have certain expectations of it.
So, instead, I have tried to turn my thoughts around and mentally correct myself by saying that it will be a little miracle. Right now, it is a precious life and I will give it every chance possible to settle in this worls. I feel quite calm and positive about the outcome, whatever it may be, and this surprises me. I feel happy and content that we may have a positive ending but also quite ok if it doesnt work as I realise that it will mean that it is just not our baby's time. I am making sure that I meditate regularly to keep myself connected and ensure that life force energy is flowing through my being. I know that I am giving it all I can right now.
Lastly, and as the title suggests; I have added a picture of the HUGE pair of string vest like knickers that I woke up after the egg collection to find I was wearing . I find it a little disconcerting to think that some stranger, albeit a member of the medical profession, has dressed me in some quite personal attire and I have no memory of it!!!Glamorous aren't they?
5 comments:
Tee Hee- Looking forward to getting my very own pair of those soon!!! Sniffing going well, getting a few hot flushes, but nothing else, so am feeling quite lucky!
Keep strong!
C x
Those are horrible!
Hopefully the remainder of your 2ww will go by fast!
Found your blog from baby and bump. My husband and I are on a longer than wanted journey to motherhood also. I saw that you had done acupuncture and that's been recommended for me too. I am not on medication anymore but have anxiety issues and think that acupuncture may help to balance hormones and also reduce anxiety around pregnancy. Do you think it helped?
Croydongirl is my name on B&B
Hi chrissie, thanks for stopping by! Im sure that accupuncture will help both the anxiety and for ttc. I find that meditation really helps me but its not everyone's cup of tea and I really dont do enough of i! Though my accupuncturist can tell the difference when I do it more often. They will be able to help identify where you are unbalanced and help with energy flow. It also doubles as giving you some "me" time which is so important and easily forgotten in the stresses of ttc. Best of luck, hope to see you on here again. Ill look you up on bnb.
Claire x
Thanks Claire, I am trying to find an accupuncturist to start asap. I am hopeful it will help. Good luck to you! I hope you get your Christmas miracle!
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